


Anatomy of Trust

by dk323



Category: Forever (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 09:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5579472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dk323/pseuds/dk323
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a night out, Henry saves James, who’s more than a little tipsy, after he falls into the cold river.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anatomy of Trust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kythe42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kythe42/gifts).



> This was written for Kythe42. I hope you enjoy reading this. Happy Holidays and a very Happy New Year!

1902

Walking along the bank of the freezing East river was not the wisest idea. And a strong wind was whipping at them, which didn’t help either. But Henry was not in the clearest frame of mind after the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

And likewise, James was not thinking especially rationally either. 

As the alcohol gave him a pleasant sedating effect, Henry’s attempt to stop James from heading out in the unforgiving water was half-hearted at best.

“James, you know that’s a terrible idea. The water’s too cold for a swim.”

“But it does look welcoming, don’t you think, Henry?” James countered.

“James…just don’t.”

Henry had only known James for four years, and he sometimes he forgot that James was so much younger than him. He was only in his early thirties – just turning 30 a few months ago. He wasn’t like Henry who had lived so long but looked like he was a man of 35. 

When he talked with James, they were usually on the same level, the same interest in medicine and desire for knowledge. Yet times like these, when they were enjoying a free night out, drinking and enjoying one another’s company, Henry was reminded of their differences.

Not being able to see clearly in the darkness of the night, Henry went down after him. His legs weren’t cooperating due to the effects of the alcohol. The unforgiving wind pushed at him affecting his balance – coupled with his alcohol-addled brain, it made a poor combination. He stumbled down, walking crookedly as James kept venturing to the water. He wasn’t heeding Henry’s warning.

“James, you’ll probably regret this tomorrow. I’m telling you as a friend.”

“Probably?” James repeated. 

Henry managed to see James grin at him under the dim glow of street lights. James’s eyes lit up, looking mischievous.

Henry swore to himself. Of all the things to stick in James’s head, it was the word, “probably” instead of the actual warning. He wished he could take back that word. He had made James believe that maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea, that he might not wake up tomorrow with more than just a hangover.

“James,” Henry said, raising his voice and trying to sound as stern as he could. 

He knew he undoubtedly sounded like a parent preparing to give a serious lecture to their child.

The alcohol’s effect was wearing off him. Many instances of getting so drunk he could barely walk had given Henry a higher tolerance for alcohol. He needed a few more shots of alcohol to have a longer lasting effect. At the moment now, he was grateful he was beginning to think more clearly. For James’s sake.

James stopped and looked back at Henry. Henry was only a few feet away from him. He was uncertain whether James would make a sudden move into the river if Henry reached out to grab him.

“I shouldn’t be surprised. You can be so British.”

Henry raised his brow at him. He remembered James bringing up his view that he’d seen British people as rarely seeking exciting endeavors, all uptight and proper. But he still gave Henry a chance – being open to people of different backgrounds to satisfy his curiosity as he’d confided to Henry some time ago. Henry, likewise, had been uncertain of James at first. Fortunately their common interest in medicine and science had caused Henry to warm up to the younger doctor.

“Just don’t remove your clothes,” Henry said, resigned.

Over his clothes, James had on a long coat that went down past his knees due to the cold early winter weather. Henry wasn’t sure that would be enough against the cold water.

James laughed. “Of course, I wouldn’t go in without nothing on. Care to join me, Henry?” He extended an invitation.

He was little less than a foot away from the water.

Henry recalled all the times he’d died and broken through the surface of very unpleasantly cold water. And he had been completely naked. He shivered just from the memory of those past experiences.

Considering that, he failed to see the attraction – even entering fully-clothed.

“No thank you, James.”

James shrugged. “All right.”

He turned away from Henry.

James was at the water’s edge when the traitorous wind came at him, so powerful that it managed to knock him down.

He fell gracelessly face first into the river. He spit out water that he accidentally swallowed.

Henry heard him swear.

“The wind’s getting worse. We should go. Take my hand, James.” Henry urged him. 

Another gust of wind passed them and this one caused rough waves in the river. Disoriented from the fall, James was caught by surprise. 

The waves carried him further out into deeper water.

“James! You need to swim back!” Henry shouted.

He watched As James was swept up in the now chaotic water. He had to go after him. James must be weighed down by his coat. That’s why he couldn’t swim back.

Henry hastily took off his coat, throwing it behind him. He swam out into the water, teeth hissing from the bitter cold.

He managed to locate James. “Give me your hand!” He said, loud as he could against the noise of the wind.

James looked to be attempting to hold on, treading the water. He extended his arm toward Henry. Gratefully, Henry grasped his hand, keeping it in a strong grip.

This wasn’t his first time saving someone like this, but the other times, it had been children. An adult would present challenges, but he was determined to succeed. James just had to keep his head above water, and maintaining his hold on him, Henry would lead him back to the safety of the shore.

“I have you. Just keep calm,” Henry said to him, trying to reassure him.

“I’m cold,” James said, sounding rather plaintive. 

Henry could feel him tremble and shake against him.

He looked baffled like he didn’t know why Henry was there.

“I’ll get you warm. Don’t worry, James.”

It was an effort, but Henry did get James back to shore. He set him down on the ground. James shivered, and then he sneezed. For his part, Henry tried to get his breathing back to normal after the exertion. 

He looked over in concern at James. Henry concluded that James needed to get into some warm clothes and be taken back to his apartment. He went over to collect his discarded coat.

“You should get out of those wet clothes.”

James nodded. Henry immediately assisted him when he looked to be struggling to lift his shirt. Once he was out of his clothes, Henry helped him put on the coat. James wrapped the coat tightly around himself, his shivers subsiding. But he was still sneezing and Henry didn’t miss the trembling in his hands, his fingers blue.

Henry remembered that he kept a stash of blankets and a coat by the shore. Fortunately he hadn’t died recently so he hadn’t had the opportunity to use it. 

“James, I’ll be back. I have something that can help you. Or do you want to go to the hospital?”

James shook his head. “I’m fine. I’ll stay here.”

Henry went over to the box he hid in one of the bushes. He was relieved it was still there, and the items he’d stored hadn’t been stolen either. He took the two blankets with him, hoping that would be sufficient.

Pleased, Henry returned to James. He put one blanket over him, and then another.

He saw the questioning look in James’s eyes. He was wondering undoubtedly how Henry got a hold of blankets in close proximity to the river.

Henry only gave him a sheepish look. He wasn’t sure what explanation would sound the most reasonable.

He was grateful when James only said, “Thank you,” and didn’t begin an inquisition. He was probably so tired from the unexpected exertion and the cold that he decided to accept the oddness.

Henry noticed something in the river. Was that James’s coat? He must have removed it. The coat’s weight had to heed his keeping afloat prior to Henry’s arrival.

Henry looked between the coat in the water and James who was suffering from hypothermia. Should he go out after a soaking wet coat? What would that achieve? James wouldn’t miss the coat – especially now in his state.

“James?” Henry asked. “How are you doing?”

“I should have listened to you.” He admitted.

“That doesn’t matter now. I see your coat in the water. Do you want it back?”

James looked curious. “Do you think you could get it?”

Henry felt weary. It sounded like James wanted it back. He didn’t want to say no. James shouldn’t lose his coat over a mistake he didn’t mean to make. “Yes, I’ll be back in a moment.”

He went out into the water, but the waves overtook him and he was already tired from his previous swim with James.

When he felt the vicious, wind-whipped water overwhelm him, pushing him down, Henry’s last thought was, “I hate drowning.”

* 

Henry awoke, breaching the surface of the now calmer water. He was naked, as usual.

He wondered if James was still at the shore or if he’d found a way home to warm up. Henry hoped the latter for the sake of James’s health.

Henry reached the shore and to his dismay, James was still there. He had waited for him.

“You didn’t return. It’s been an hour.”

“James, I can explain.”

Henry stood up, forgetting he was completely naked in his earnestness to give his explanation to James.

“You don’t have clothes on. What is it you’re not telling me, Henry?”

“I—I believe I need something to wear. I lost my clothes in the water.”

“That’s not possible. I’m a doctor, Henry, like you. Don’t treat me like a fool.”

“I’m not.”

“You know what? Here’s your coat. You need it more than I do.” 

James handed him the coat. Henry took it with a heavy heart, feeling like James was ending their friendship, at least for the moment. He took the blankets though – for decency’s sake. After all, he had no dry clothes to put on. He gathered his wet clothes as well, carrying them under one arm.

“James… please. Let me explain.”

“I can see by the look in your eyes you’re going to lie to me. I’ve had enough experience with patients who have lied to me because the truth is too much for them to admit. So just don’t do that to me. Especially when I consider you a good friend.”

“I won’t lie to you.”

James frowned, doubting him, then he abruptly turned away from Henry.

Henry tried to stop him, reaching out to grab his shoulder.

James moved Henry’s hand off him. “Don’t touch me.” His tone was angry.

Henry watched him walk away. Despite the blankets, he saw James shiver against the cold night air. 

James had been wrong. He needed Henry’s coat more.

* 

Henry came into work early the next morning. He was not surprised that James wasn’t there. Guilt enveloped him causing him to wonder if he should’ve gone to check on him before work. Or even after he had left Henry late last night. The thought of James walking alone, shivering from the cold and still suffering the effects of being in a freezing river, put Henry in a dismal mood. 

And that mood wasn’t helped by a fellow Emergency Room doctor coming by to talk to him.

“Good morning, Henry.”

“Good morning, Ellis. How are you?” He said, trying to be polite.

The man walked with a limp and required a walking cane for his lame leg on the right side. As any sympathetic person would, Henry felt sorry for him. But then, sometimes he could be so unpleasant that Henry preferred to avoid conversations with Ellis.

“I’m good, good. I went to see James this morning. He caught a bad cold. Poor chap.”

This caught Henry’s attention. Ellis was a longtime friend of James from when they were children. He wasn’t surprised he’d gone to see him. He usually did that.

“Did he say why he got his cold?” Henry asked as nonchalantly as he could.

His thoughts were chaotic though – did James tell him about Henry’s strange reappearance? If so, was Ellis going to do something about it? Should he leave work now? Pack his things and establish a new life elsewhere?

Ellis shrugged. He didn’t look at Henry like he had learned something very odd about him. He just smiled a little to himself, seeming pleased that he had information Henry didn’t have.

While it was true Henry easily admitted he was rather proficient at diagnosing patients, he still wanted to punch Ellis in the nose. Ellis had a tendency to appear self-satisfied with himself. 

Serves him right that he’s stuck with a limp.

Henry hated himself for even thinking that.

Damn that man for making him be so un-doctor-like even if it was only in his head.

“James just said he might have got it from a patient, and this cold weather didn’t help either.”

Henry felt relief sweep through him. James hadn’t told Ellis about last night. What if James planned on allowing Henry to explain himself before he did anything?

After last night, Henry doubted James would even want to look him in the eye. Should he try though? Tell him the truth? Explain that he wasn’t quite like other people?

Would James forgive him for not telling him sooner? That it had taken four years to explain the curse he’d been unwillingly burdened with since the year 1814?

“I’m sorry to hear that. Thank you for informing me, Ellis. Some rest and fluids will hopefully help him.”

Ellis nodded. “After work, I think I’ll bring by some chicken soup for him that my wife made.”

“Of course. Good idea. I may see him too.”

Ellis smiled. “All right then. Well I hope your day goes well.”

“And you too.” Henry acknowledged him.

Ellis grabbed his cane and went on his way.

Henry decided he had to go see James tonight. He wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise.

* 

Henry came late in the evening. He didn’t want to be there when Ellis stopped by. The less interaction with the man, the better. Especially since he wanted to speak to James privately.

James’s apartment had its own entrance. While he managed all right with his doctor’s salary, most of the pay went toward rent. However, his older sister, Lottie, who married a wealthy man, insisted on helping him out with expenses. James wasn’t too happy with her determination, but he didn’t have the heart to argue with her. She was childless, no matter how hard she tried, and she dealt with her troubles by helping those she thought needed it.

Henry was glad the door opened after he knocked on it. 

“How are you, James?”

James nodded at him, giving him a weak smile. But his eyes held a guarded expression as he looked Henry in the eye. Henry hated to think that he was the last person James wanted to see after the argument last night. But it was the reality of the present state of his friendship with James.

James pointed at his throat. “I can’t speak.” He said in a very soft whisper.

Henry just managed to catch the words. He’d had experience listening closely to patients who suffered from voice loss due to laryngitis.

James waved him inside anyway.

“I apologize, James. I don’t want you to speak if it hurts. Perhaps you can write down what you wish to say?”

James shrugged, nodding. Henry wondered if Ellis knew James had lost his voice. It would be just like him to “forget” to inform of this detail.

“Sit down please. You look awful. I’m here to help for anything you require.”

James sneezed suddenly, taking a handkerchief a little too late. He managed to capture the second sneeze. He bent over from the force of it, and then he straightened, a fit of coughs coming then. 

Henry felt like this was a punishment for him because he hadn’t told James about his immortality. Now James had fallen ill. Henry had hoped he’d only have temporary lingering effects from the hypothermia, not get a cold and lose his voice within a day.

Concerned, Henry stood beside him, rubbing his back. “I could guide you to your room. You need bed rest. I can get you something to eat? Or some hot tea?”

James nodded. He motioned with his hand, putting an invisible cup to his lips. 

“All right. I’ll get that for you.”

Henry walked with James to his bedroom. James bit his lip, appearing uncertain about Henry’s help, but he didn’t make a move to push him away.

James must remember last night, and he imagined was still considering what to do about Henry’s reappearance.

Henry knelt down and pulled off James’s slippers. James climbed into bed, and Henry adjusted the covers so they would come up almost to his shoulders.

Henry got him a notepad and pencil from the table in the kitchen. 

James gave him a small nod in thanks. 

“Did you eat something?”

“The chicken soup that Ellis brought,” he wrote on the notepad.

“Maybe I could make you something more? Along with the tea? Some jam with bread?”

James nodded. 

The doctor in him had to check him first before he headed to the kitchen. “Do you have a fever?”

Henry pressed his hand to James’s brow. It felt a little warm. Under 100 degrees Fahrenheit at least. 

He needed to wet some small towels with cold water to cool his forehead.

“I feel all right,” James said in a whisper, his voice croaked briefly as he tried to speak a little louder.

He began to cough again.

“Don’t talk, James, please. Let your voice rest.”

James sat back down on the bed, looking frustrated at the restriction.

“I’ll get you some food and hot tea. And a cold towel for your forehead. All right?”

James nodded, smiling in gratitude at him. It was a small smile, but it gave Henry hope that his closest friend was willing to forgive him for something he should have told him by now.

On a tray, he put the bread with jam on a plate along with the hot tea. He returned to James’s room and set the tray, which had legs, across his lap.

“I’ll get the towel. I’ll be back momentarily.”

James nodded.

Henry fetched the wet towel he’d prepared and wrung out enough so it wasn’t dripping all over the floor.

“After you eat, maybe?” Henry decided, looking at the towel and realizing James couldn’t eat and have the towel on his forehead at the same time. “Sorry, I should have considered that better.”

James shook his head, dismissively waving his hand that was holding a piece of bread he’d bitten into.

He set the bread down on the plate, and patted the edge of the bed, then he looked expectantly at Henry.

“Sit,” he whispered. 

Henry wished he’d write down what he wanted to say every time, not just some of the time. Even if it was just one word.

With a sigh, Henry sat down on the bed beside him. “Please drink your tea. It’ll help ease the soreness in your throat.”

James raised his brow at him.

Of course, Henry was well aware that doctors didn’t make the best patients. He knew it was wisest not to tell James what he should do. They’d seen more than their fair share of sick patients with fevers and coughs and voice loss.

James took a few good sips of his tea under Henry’s watchful eye.

Henry smiled when he saw James use the notepad. Or maybe this was a bad thing? What if James wanted to discuss Henry’s incident last night?

Henry decided to speak first before James wrote what he wanted to say. He had to tell James the truth. 

“I should tell you what happened with me last night. It’s wrong of me to keep this from you for so long. I just have had trouble trusting people even those I count as friends. I am truly sorry, James.”

James shook his head. 

“Not that. Not yet,” he told him in a whisper. 

He gave Henry the notepad, and pointed to the paper.

Henry read the words out loud. He figured that way he could better distract himself from the inevitable talk they would have.

“Lottie came by to check on me. She told me exciting news. She’s with child.”

He stopped upon reading that piece of news. Henry couldn’t resist grinning. All those times he’d listened as James spoke of Lottie’s hope for a child. And now, she was going to have one. Her first son or daughter.

“Congratulations, James! You’re going to be an uncle.”

“Again,” he added. 

Besides his older sister, James had an older and younger brother – both married with children of their own.

A stray cough escaped him, but he brushed it off. He looked so happy with a grin to match Henry’s.

It was almost half an hour later before they moved on to another topic. Henry asked him questions about how Lottie was feeling, how far along she was, and how the rest of his family was handling the news. 

Henry wondered if he perhaps had Lottie to thank for being here now with James. He could see the happy news putting James in a good mood. And that might have led to him inviting Henry in despite last night. Otherwise Henry was sure he would have had the door shut in his face and he’d be back home, mourning the end of a friendship he’d enjoyed.

But once they had exhausted the topic of James’s sister being pregnant, a heavy silence followed.

“I want to tell you the truth, James. Last night, I did lose my clothes, but by accident. Believe me, if I could have kept them on, I would have. James, I--”

James held up a hand. He shook his head. “No. When I’m well again. And I can speak above a whisper.” He insisted. 

Unfortunately he’d said those words instead of writing them down. He paid the price by having another painful sounding set of coughs. The strain of speaking had been too much. 

“Tickle,” he murmured, referring to his throat. He groaned and laid his head back down on the pillow, giving in to his illness.

Henry stood up to remove the tray. He set it on the nearby bedside table. 

He touched the wet towel and noticed it was room temperature at this point. No good.

“James, I need to prepare the towel again.”

But Henry was stopped from leaving, but James’s hand grabbing his arm.

“Stay,” his expression said, eyes looking down at the bed then at Henry.

“What is it, James? Write it down. I’ll wait.”

James took the notepad and wrote down something on it. He looked thoughtful like he wanted to get the right words out.

Once done, he handed the notepad to Henry. 

“Do you want me to read it out loud or in silence?” Henry asked James.

James put up one finger, indicating the first option.

“All right. Out loud.”

And so Henry read, “I feel I overreacted last night. And I apologize for that. I wasn’t feeling well, and your return when I thought you gone surprised me. And then I saw your face, that you were about to lie to me. I wondered if I placed my trust in the wrong man. If he can’t trust me with his truths, then how can I trust him?”

“James, you don’t need to apologize. I understand if you felt that way, if you still do. I should have told you a long time ago.”

James shook his head. He looked down at the notepad, urging Henry to keep on reading.

“How can I trust a man who I care for? More than perhaps I should for another man. Maybe I’m going into this blindly and with falsely placed trust, but I think I… I feel great affection for you, Henry Morgan. And I hope you will have enough trust in me one day soon to let me know what you’re hiding.”

“I don’t know what to say. I—I’ve never been with a man before… but I care for you deeply too, James. I want to see where this leads us.”

James raised his brow at him, doubtful. It looked like he was saying, “Do you mean that?”

Henry nodded. “As soon as you get better, I will tell you everything.”

And then to Henry’s surprise—he’d never done something as spontaneous as this -- and he was sure to James’s too, Henry sat down on the bed, placing his hand on James’s cheek, and then pressing his lips against James’s own. 

The contact was light at first, the kiss tentative but then Henry’s lips wandered down James’s neck.

Henry felt James reluctantly push him away. “I don’t want you to--”

Henry gently placed his hand over James’s mouth to stop him from straining his vocal cords.

“Trust me, James, if I catch your cold, then it’s worth it. Especially if it’s because I was taking care of you. I wouldn’t mind at all.”

James accepted his answer however uncertainly, still feeling guilty as any reasonable person would when they didn’t want to be the cause of another’s sickness.

A little later, Henry couldn’t stop the temptation to ask him, “So did you lose your voice before or after Ellis saw you early in the morning? If it was before, he failed to inform me.”

James let out a laugh which soon turned into a barky sounding cough. But his lips twisted into a smile, not affected by the harsh cough. Still, Henry brought him a glass of water to drink. James didn’t miss Henry’s dislike of Ellis. That was hard to hide from James when Henry spent considerable time with him. And also, James could be especially perceptive.

James didn’t grace him with an answer, but Henry was all right with that. He was glad he could make James smile and laugh. 

Last night felt like another lifetime ago.

**The End**


End file.
